La Zona Muerta

The most disappointing thing, when you’re writing a fresh, new blog that literally TENS of people read that features a weekly column about a TV show…

…is when that show has an episode that is neither particularly bad nor particularly good and just sort of exists.

Dynamite last night was not particularly newsworthy. They did establish a match for Double or Nothing that will excite some folks… and the world champion learned that he had no friends.

Er… that’s about it.

I guess I could stop here, but I do want to flag up a couple of the bits that brought me joy or deep hurting:

Evil Kazuchika Okada is A KING OF MEN. Just absolutely a complete douchenozzle dickhead, and I love it. His stilted English, his attitude… it’s all beautiful.

I’m still enjoying the heel Bucks act. My WIFE, who famously can’t stand the Bucks is enjoying their act. She mostly just wants to see the Bucks fine people. MORE FINES PLEASE. I think the Anarchy in the Arena announcement is largely… okay, I suppose, but I’m not really moved by that match type. AEW never shoots it well, but I realize some people really love these arena brawls so… net positive, I guess.

Don Callis is great, both as an evil manager and especially on commentary (a position he held most of the night). I know some people don’t like the schtick (and his tendency to overshine the talent, which is probably a fair criticism), but I get a kick out of him and I think he really knows how to turn up the obnoxiousness when necessary and is also pretty good about knowing when to lay out.

As for deep hurting, the end of the show being a weird mix of backstage promos and an in ring interview was peculiar. Mercedes is still… look gang, she is BAD on the mic and then she had the temerity to bring up the AEW catchphrase, “the best wrestle here,” when she has yet to step “in-a-ring” (in-a-ring TM Mercedes Moné). Yes, I know the period is supposed to go inside the quotation marks! You know this was a good segment when I start typing about grammar style guide talking points.

The saga of Edge vs. Malakai Black and his coterie of malcontents who want to go back to WWE was so moving, so EPIC that I looked over at my wife and asked her if she wanted me to go make some brownies. She looked at me, her pale, steel grey eyes flashing. “Yes,” she intoned flatly.

Swerve getting turned on by the Mogul Embassy at least cauterizes that last vestige of him being a bad guy, but boy, what a dork to not check if his buddies changed alignments when he did.

That’s really it; I have no especially deep thoughts on a show that seemingly wasn’t designed to generate any. They had a good, big crowd and only two more Dynamites (plus three Collisions) until the Pay Per View… but didn’t really drive to the hoop as hard with this episode as they could have. Maybe they should treat Dynamite TV as being slightly more precious? We have a pretty good idea of several matches for Double or Nothing, but nothing feels must see so far.

Definite matches:

Christian Cage vs. Swerve Strickland for the AEW World Heavyweight Title

Anarchy in the Arena (the Elite vs. Eddie Kingston, Bryan Danielson and FTR)

Serena Deeb vs. Timeless Toni Storm for the AEW Women’s Championship

Will Ospreay vs. Roderick Strong for the AEW International Title

Mercedes Moné vs. Willow Nightingale for the TBS Championship

Probable matches:

Jay White vs. PAC (maybe a trios match depending on Fenix’ health, maybe a singles)

Orange Cassidy vs. Trent Baretta in some sort of stipulation match (Chuckie T’s career on a pole, perhaps?)

HOOK vs. Chris Jericho (for the third goddamned time) for the FTW Championship

Edge vs. Malakai Black (hopefully) in a loser leaves AEW and goes back to WWE match (praying to GREAT GOTCH ABOVE for a double countout)

If that’s the card or a close approximation of it… that’s a bit of a shrug for me. The only real inducement I would have to watch it is writing about it the next day.

It’s tough going to any place that discusses wrestling or clicking on YouTube where the ruthless algorithm instantly serves you ten “why AEW is FAILING” videos when AEW itself doesn’t seem to have that hunger to provide killer shows. I hope someone lights a fire under Tony’s ass by the time Forbidden Door rolls around.