La Zona Muerta

Still kind of digesting Forbidden Door a bit; featuring both the best and worst of AEW. Before I get into talking about the show properly, I’d like to make a special aside to one Mike Mansury:

Take your Vince McMahon-loving, LED board-having, camera cutting when there’s action going on ass back to Stamford and the WWE. Oh, I know he said he “wasn’t in charge of the director.” Horseshit. Fuck that guy and the horse he rode in on. Boy, the shit I took when he changed the set; I was like “there are so many other problems to address; the set isn’t one” and I was shouted down by people who were more about vibes than practicality. Now, we’re stuck with those rotten LED boards, camera zooms to bored wrestlers in distant parts of the arena DURING IN RING ACTION and people watching the monitor in the back at the wrong angle, but YAY WE GOT THE TUNNELS BACK.

Ahem.

Another digression; while there were probably four must see, go out of your way for matches on the card last night, not one of them was better than last week’s match in CMLL between Zack Sabre Jr. and the alchemist of wrestling, one Hechicero.

Hechicero, mon amour

Their match was pretty much what you imagine, non-stop grappling turning more and more serious as the match and falls progressed. I haven’t watched an Arena Colliseo show in AGES, not since the height of my CMLL fandom, probably 2018 or so. Colliseo is an old boxing venue and resembles something between Sumo Hall and a barn inside (it’s been upgraded a little, I suppose. but there are upgrades and there are upgrades). There was a mysterious, wet blotch on the ring canvas that neither I nor my wife could initially identify. “Maybe someone threw their beer?” I said weakly, unconvinced. Mrs. Convoy looked at me. “Their probably fifteen dollar beer?” she asked incredulously. “Fair point,” I conceded, but we kept staring at and pondering the splotch until she shouted “The roof is leaking!” and damned if she wasn’t right. THE ROOF LEAKED. Wow. Despite the lack of structural integrity at the venue, the fans were RABID for this match, absolutely on fire, but it’s my sad duty to report that AMERICANS HAVE RUINED THEM as the crowd spontaneously broke into chants of “esta lucha.” UGH. Nothing makes me grimace more than when Japanese or Mexican fans do dumb chants because they see us do it on TV. Yuuuuck.

My Spanish is limited (altho’ if you want a Spanish crash course, watch CMLL seriously for a month or two and you’ll be surprised how much you pick up) so I don’t think the announcers got into it… but in the wacky world of kayfabe, I wonder why both men would have agreed to such a dangerous match prior to Forbidden Door? Neither had much to gain as they both had high profile matches upcoming. After a lot of trading holds (pointless to go into them all), Hechicero won the third fall, possibly slightly under fishy circumstances as ZSJ was under the ropes when pinned. He challenged Hechicero to a rematch in Japan and hechicero replied something along the lines of “how about RIGHT HERE IN MEXICO.”

God, this was great. Everything I love about wrestling; two people, struggling for supremacy, using their knowledge to strike and counterstrike. The holds were crisp, the transitions were NOT always crisp and honestly, that made it BETTER; like they really were struggling to catch the other unawares. CHEF RECOMMENDS, even if you aren’t super into grapple heavy wrestling. Give this a try; you might be surprised.

Okay, finally, on to Forbidden Door.

Some of the discourse this week was even dumber than usual, focused on how there were TOO MANY matches on the show.

Look; I’m paying money for this thing; it’s not a dopey “PLE” included with my Peacock subscription where I pay nothing (or hardly anything) and get five matches which may or may not be good gift wrapped in a crunchy, candy shell every month. As long as the matches are good, I don’t really care if there are fifteen matches or not. Now, granted, if you are in the actual venue, your opinion might differ, but the show ended right at 9pm / midnight on the button. I’d really say only two matches were not really “worthy” of being on the show and even then, they were passable… they were just more like TV matches than ones you’d probably want to pay for. Four matches would be what I consider going out of your way to see and that is a ratio definitely worth your money, IMO.

That being said… let’s cover the bad real quick and get it out of the way.

Max Caster stinks. There, I said it. I was a fan of this dude well before AEW, watching him in BEYOND and other indies. Loved the raps, loved the persona and I didn’t think his in-ring was great, but I thought he had a lot of potential.

His work has regressed and you can tell since everyone wants to work his tag team partner and not him. Anthony Bowens is great and is really putting things together; Caster is regressing and relies solely on tryhard schtick… and his schtick is tired. He was angry that Kazuchika Okada called him a “bitch,” so his retort was just to call Okada a “bitch” over and over and over again until the word lost all meaning. There’s an aside; I’ve enjoyed Okada saying “bitch” randomly but AEW is IN LOVE with that word. Has been for years. Like, come up with something more clever, please, instead of relying on such an obvious crutch. Be clever, not dumb.

I don’t want to get into how bad Hiroshi Tanahashi is moving but… there was a point where he had to run across the ring and… it was genuinely sad to see. Tana, just stop and be the best cheerleader for New Japan ever as you take the reins of presidency. Heal. Get your movement back, if for no other reason than just simply for the quality of your life.

While I enjoy Okada being the Young Bucks’ heavy, for lack of a better term, I do long to see him get into some more important scapes. Hopefully the slow burn ends soon. I hope they have one helluva match for him at Wembley.

What else sucked? I know that Tony Khan used his new catchphrase “customer acquisition strategy” at least three times in a big interview this weekend, but sticking Los Ingobernobles de Japon (the most popular faction in New Japan) vs. Mistico (literally the most popular wrestler in Mexico) and the Lucha Bros. (one of AEW’s most popular tag teams, not that you would know from how they are booked) on the pre show and not the proper card… especially when there was that Jericho six man? I dunno. Yes, I’ve heard all the arguments as to why… but I feel like they would have had more time and no truncated entrances on the PPV proper. Just the couple of minutes we got of Rey Fenix and Titan… WOW. My belief that Rey Fenix is the best, most complete luchadore in the world continues, unabated. Titan has improved SO MUCH in the last five years; he’s truly sensational and going to Japan did SO MUCH for the guy. Just a treat to see him perform. Sadly, my main man, Yota Tsuji didn’t really connect with the crowd or impress, which sucks. The man is SO GREAT outside of the ring, so composed and confident. He speaks so naturally, so confidently… and ladies (and fellas, I suppose; I don’t know Tsuji’s needs)… he cooks, too! Unfortunately, he didn’t cook in ring (especially a bummer since he has CMLL experience). Once the final pieces fall into place in-ring, he’s going to be the biggest deal ever… but he’s still got a ways to go.

While the Chris Jericho match wasn’t BAD, it really should have been relegated to Collision as a Forbidden Door preview or something. When Jericho finally has that match with Minoru Suzuki, maybe he can learn what being in there with a shooter is all about.

Gotch bless this beautiful, perfect man

Before I address the elephant in the room in regards to bad matches… I just want to point out that Mercedes Moné… boy. I dunno. She was outworked (and maybe outclassed) by Stephanie Vacquer… and when the crowd turned on Moné, the announcers were like “er… it’s because she’s from Boston!” Funny, the Boston-hating Long Islanders had no problem cheering her when she came out…! They need to turn into the skid because that’s the second time she’s gone over someone the crowd liked better. Thank THE DENTAL GODS for the return of a very clearly emotional Brutt Baker, DMD. Hell, I was emotional, too, as I was screaming “CHALLENGE FOR WEMBLEY, BRITT” at the TV.

Okay, the real bad match on this show, sadly, was the second biggest match… Jon Moxley and Tetsuya Naito for the IWGP title. It had the right outcome… and that’s about all I can say good for it. I’ve never thought the two had particularly good chemistry and although everyone is talking today about how washed Naito is… it takes two to tango, and one party seemed completely lost and wasn’t able to get on the same page… and I’m not speaking of Naito. People are acting like this was a disaster of Kota Ibushi / Naomichi Marufuji proportions and it simply wasn’t THAT bad… but neither was it good. If you didn’t know why Naito is the literal most popular wrestler in Japan, this match would have done SWEET FUCK ALL to inform you.

Okay. Not so hot stuff aside… here are the reasons to watch this show:

1. Bryan Danielson vs. Shingo Takagi

I only have two reservations about this wonderful match. Despite AEW having Shingo win a couple of times on TV, I don’t think they really did enough to showcase what a threat he was. If this match had happened in Japan, it would have had a completely different atmosphere as the crowd in LI was not particularly invested in Takagi. My other beef is Danielson’s need to incorporate a doctor / health scare into all of his high profile matches. I already know the guy is held together with spit and bailing wire! Doctor Sampson lumbering over to check on him doesn’t get me more invested in the match; it actively takes me out of it. There was a point (and now that I think about it, perhaps a planned one) where Danielson did a topé to the outside and caught his feet on the ropes (and it looked for all the world like Shingo SAVED HIS LIFE by catching him), which led to the doctor thing. There was a point, in New Japan, where they did “the doctor coming to check on the wrestlers” thing SO MUCH they sort of banned it and I wish to MIGHTY GOTCH ABOVE that AEW would adapt a similar policy. Enough people have been hurt or worse in ring; I don’t need you to do the fake version of that.

I don’t typically give you lists of moves when I talk to you about matches; that’s not really what this blog is, but there was a sequence I HAVE to mention; Danielson got a triangle on Takagi and didn’t like how he had sunk it in, so he switched to the other leg to tighten it up. Shingo lifted him on ONE ARM as if to go for a shoot powerbomb (basically the real life counter for a triangle in MMA), and instead turned it into a powerslam. What a feat of strength and it looked absolutely spectacular. Great match and could have been even BETTER under different circumstances.

2. ZSJ vs. Orange Cassidy

Okay, this wasn’t as good as the Hechicero match I talked about above, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. Both guys killed it; it’s just that I don’t think the crowd is really conditioned to enjoy high-level graps. I thought this match was terrific. OC’s decent continues as ZSJ managed to get a win, which frankly, I didn’t really anticipate.

3. The TNT ladder match

Boy, I hate ladder matches. They are overdone, risky and frankly, not generally that entertaining. Ladder matches are at their best when the guys go out to really kill themselves and frankly, while I’m not trying to be the safety police… I just don’t think the risk is worth the reward. That being said, this was a helluva match and no one died, as far as I know. I did see some rumblings that Lio Rush was hurt, and I don’t know if that’s the case, but I wouldn’t be stunned if he was. They made Konosuke Takeshita look like a MONSTER in this match, and I was happy for that, but I had visions of him having his G1 run fucked up because he took one too many risks here. Fortunately, that does not appear to be the case, and I actually CHEERED when the SCAPEGOAT Jack Perry won. I can’t believe they managed to get this dude over with me and mine.

4. The main fucking event

Boy. Boyoboy. This match was almost perfect. Ospreay is amazing and man, Swerve ROSE TO MEET HIS LEVEL. THese two have such good chemistry together. Moves, countermoves, stiff, snug work, everything.

And then the bullshit started. We had a ref bump. Don Callis showed up with his screwdriver, just like in the Ospreay / Kenny Omega match. Ospreay is a good boy, now, despite his affiliation with Callis, so he refused to use it. Prince Nana intervened, as a good manager would and pushed Don away. WILL OSPREAY THEN SUFFERED WHAT I CAN ONLY CALL A PSYCHOTIC BREAK AND THREATENED TO SHOVE THE SCREWDRIVER INTO NANA’S EYE.

Eye injury motif comics

Ospreay suddenly realized he was ACTING LIKE A LUNATIC and failed to remove Nana’s eye, which basically led to the finish.

This didn’t protect Ospreay. It didn’t help Swerve. You have the will he / won’t he already with Ospreay’s use of the Tiger Driver ’91… now he’s having an existential crisis with using the screwdriver ON AN INNOCENT PARTY OR NOT, AFTER HE ALREADY REFUSED TO USE IT IN THE MATCH.

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I dramatically declared online that this ruined the match; it didn’t, exactly, but man, it sure hurt my enjoyment of it. The match was SO GOOD and SUCH a coronation of Swerve AS THE MOTHER F’N GUY that I can’t say the nonsense was ruinous… but it threatened to be. It was simultaneously the best and worst of AEW; an untouchable in-ring match saddled with WWE style horseshit.

Forbidden Door was very, very good. It was also saddled with bullshit here and there; not enough that it hurt the show overall, but it was noticeable. It’s the dichotomy of AEW right now; matches for the sickos, dumb stories for the casuals. I didn’t write a Dynamite review last week because of same… it’s getting to be a drag. PPV is sort of the last bastion of the company, the last gasp of the alternative we all craved and it sucks when WWE style stuff has creeped in.

In addition to the return of Dr. Britt Baker, there was another big piece of news on the show; AEW and NJPW (plus STARDOM, CMLL and ROH, whatever that means) are having a joint show in Tokyo on January 5th, the day after Wrestle Kingdom called WRESTLE DYNASTY. People have long bemoaned that AEW isn’t enough of a partner to NJPW; this hopefully finally redresses that balance a bit. I couldn’t find it but I actually predicted that AEW and NJPW would run a joint show in MSG several years ago called Wrestle Dynasty, so at least I was somewhat right eventually. I hope that’s a huge show that gives people their money’s worth.

As it stands, I do not know if I will buy All In. Not trying to be dramatic… it’s just that the company is starting to drift pretty far from what I want. It’s hard to be mad at AEW right now; they have the right guy on top, I enjoyed the PPV, but the week to week TV is getting worse. I don’t know. Let’s hope Wednesday hews closer to the PPV and not last week’s show.