La Zona Muerta

Nothing to get hung about; just some thoughts re: ZED ESS JAY, the G1, Yota Tsuji and the state of New Japan Pro Wrestling.

Of course, we watched the G1 semis and final over the weekend. Not bad; I don’t do star ratings but if you had me rank the three final matches I’d probably say

1. Shingo Takagi / ZSJ
2. Yota Tsuji / David Finlay
3. ZSJ / Yota Tsuji

I don’t think any of those matches would be a waste of your time; if you had to only watch one, I’d probably make it Shingo and Zack. The key is something people who try to downplay puro always miss; the selling. Look at the anger and disappointment on Shingo’s face when he can’t get the job done against Zack. Such good stuff. Japanese wrestling isn’t about no selling; it’s about trying to make the other person break against your will. “Oh, that Ishii guy just doesn’t sel1” yells the strawman I just conjured in my head. Bullshit! Strawman or no, I have people genuinely say that and… wow. Talk about missing the point.

So, the G1. Not so good, huh, Al?* I mean, maybe that’s a bit harsh; it just wasn’t GREAT. If this was the time for the young guys to stand up, maybe with one exception or two, I don’t think that they accomplished that. If the idea was to set up an exciting Tokyo Dome match up… I’m not certain that they did that, either (for reasons I’ll get to in a second). I think this tourney showed the lack of depth on the bench; the best guy in the tournament (Konosuke Takeshita) DOESN’T EVEN WORK IN NEW JAPAN. Tetsuya Naito remains the most popular wrestler in Japan, and while I don’t think he’s as “shot” or “washed” or whatever pejorative you want to apply to him as most Western fans seem to think, it’s clear he should not be subjecting himself to the rigors of a tournament any longer. Bullet Club / War Dogs / House of Torture still remain annoying. Jake Lee? I mean… this guy gets a million chances strictly because of his size and never proves himself.

All this being said, I’m glad it came down to Tsuji and Zack. I’m glad Zack won! I figured it was probably a Naito call; Naito likes Zack and trusts him to have a good match at the Tokyo Dome. I don’t know if it’s a gold watch from NJPW or what, but Zack is great, has a strong connection with the fans and would have a good match with Naito.

“Not today, dickheads.”

Except, Zack has said he wants the shot at King of Pro Wrestling, in October.

What?

They have nothing else. They have NOTHING to draw with at Tokyo Dome on January 4th, and then the next night is going to be the AEW crossover.

What are they thinking? Naito chasing Zack? Zack failing at KoPW and then going again in January? What the hell are they thinking?

Stupid, sexy Naito

New Japan right now is a WASTELAND. Everyone is too old and too beat up. The guy that’s closest to being the most complete, Yota Tsuji, is GREAT on the mic, so at ease during interviews, is naturally charismatic and funny… he’s everything…

Except in ring; the most important attribute in New Japan. That’s not to say he’s terrible in ring; he’s not, but he’s still green. He has bad cardio and needs desperately to work with a big man like himself for a few months to sort of put the final pieces of the puzzle together. IT’s not a “no” with him, it’s just a “not now,” but he’s already almost 31… not to say that’s bad, but that is to say you can’t keep waiting forever with the guy. I think they need to get going on Tsuji soon. The other parts of the youth movement? Who do we buy stock in?

Shota Umino is terrible; awful instincts and has had a million chances to fail to impress every time. Has already had a dozen different looks and tries to emulate a LOT of people, to the point of maybe (?) getting heat for it. Even if that heat isn’t real… they’ve had him address it (!) in their wrestling diaries that they flog at Toukon Shop; so someone, somewhere at LEAST acknowledges it. Pass.

Yuya Uemura. Good in ring, and has some goofy charisma but is also nervous on the mic and doesn’t seem to have a dynamic personality. Pass, for now. I WANT to buy stock in this guy but he’s not there yet for me.Also, he really shouldn’t be in Just Five Guys.

Ren Narita. Good in ring. Stuck with a career killing gimmick. Doesn’t have the natural charisma to surpass it and has frankly, probably peaked. Pass.

Ryohhei Oiwa. Has a TREMENDOUS connection to the crowds in NOAH, seems at ease on interviews. Good in ring. I think him going to NOAH for “excursion” was a borderline brilliant idea and he’s really made the most of it. BUY.

Caleb Newman. For me, completely failed to impress during the tournament. On the other hand, I’m not certain he was put in a POSITION to impress; they are trying to couch him as Will Ospreay II and that’s a hard road to hoe. Pass but not as harshly as I mean that for Umino. Pass for now, I suppose.

Gabe Kidd. Boy, is this guy divisive. For me, his obnoxious, ugly foreigner schtick is turned up FAR too loud and completely overrides everything else for me. I also think he’s a fairly one note brawler and isn’t all that impressive in the ring. Don’t get me wrong, he isn’t horrible or anything, but neither is he a stand out. I can feel people revving up their keyboards as I type that; I know plenty of people that are all in on this cat. I say pass, pass into the sun, but I know that won’t be a popular opinion.

Boltin Oleg. Huge dude, needs the same cardio help Tsuji probably needs but man, he really seems devoted to New Japan and, even if they were minor steps, I think he improved little by little during the tournament. I can’t say the sky is the limit for the guy; he’s very green and has very similar matches unless he’s in there with a vet who is willing to really guide him down the path. President Tanahashi seems besot with him. Buy, but not like “go into hawk to buy” buy, if you see what I mean.

Where does that leave us? An upper card who are aging out. A lower card who aren’t ready to take the reins. We can say NJPW is in a “rebuilding” period all we want but where are the bricks and mortar?

New Japan has been my favorite promotion since probably 2015 or so (a latecomer oldheads might scoff; the “golden” era of NJPW probably started in 2011 or 12). It is almost painful to see them keep stumbling, to see themlack and to fail to plug the holes. The answer is not more foreigners or also rans to join Bullet Club or more natives to join House of Torture in search of “heat.” Simultaneously, you can’t just snap your fingers and make the new guys “ready.” They pushed too hard with the rejected “Reiwa Musketeers” moniker for Umino, Tsuji and Narita, a title even those men rejected. They tried too hard with Umino, a try hard himself, leading to apathy. They do seem to be getting behind Tsuji and I suspect, if Zack truly is “cashing in” (ugh) in October, Tsuji’s story for the year isn’t over yet… but you can’t just make ANYONE ready… but New Japan is in the unenviable position of needing to try.

*ancient Happy Days reference for you young’uns. It’s referenced in the Weezer video for “Buddy Holly” if you need a SLIGHTLY more culturally up to date version