La Zona Muerta

I get it to a degree; Monty Brown wasn’t having thirty minute classics back in 2005 in Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. I can sort of sympathize with the Powers That Were wanting Brown to take more indy dates, to get better at wrestling, before they would look at strapping him up with the NWA World Heavyweight Title.

But.

Maybe he was perfect the way he was. The only thirty minute classic Goldberg ever wrestled was with a dude who literally scripted it out for him. Maybe Monty Brown didn’t NEED to be a thirty minute five star classic kinda guy. Maybe his hunt on the SERENGETI was just what it needed to be.

“Well, Geeeff Geearrett, you might be Keeanng of the Mountain, but I’m the King of THAT Serengeti!”

Some men are just DESTINED to be wrestlers. Some men have the charisma of ten, no, TWENTY ordinary males. Some men are real athletes and love wrestling so much that they choose an alma mater due to it’s closeness to Stamford, Connecticut. Some men find their way to be trained by Sabu and Dan “the Beast” Severn (surely the most dichotomous pair of trainers who ever existed). Maybe some men are a bit silly, just on the edge of being too goofy… but then they pull it back and stick the landing every time.

In this world, there are beta males, even lowly omega males.

But there is only one ALPHA MALE.

And when you talk about that Serengeti? The POOOOOUNCE~! or the Alpha Male? YOU TALK ABOUT THEM WITH RESPECT.