La Zona Muerta

Another back to back Dynamite / Collision taping means a ganged up review POUR VOUS. And hey, Dynamite was pretty great and Collision was solid. Both had a tiny bit more “sports entertainment” or whatever we’re calling it this week than I STRICTLY prefer, but that’s not a sin. I think the record will show that I’m not a huge proponent of starting wrestling shows with promos and interviews (hoary wrestling trope #1)… and they did that TWICE IN A ROW this week, but I’ll look the other way (on Dyna at least) since the opening promo was SO DAMNED GOOD.

I know a LOT of people who are already ANGRY that Will Ospreay is gonna beat Hangman Adam Page for the main event spot at All In. I HATE “let it play out,” but… mebbe we should WAIT before we burn Ospreay dolls in effigy? I really, truly get sick of the idea that Ospreay is somehow an outsider or threat to AEW… he’s as AEW as the Elite, Swerve, Best Friends, ANY of them. Regardless of the outcome, it will be a helluva match. Hangman’s tentative turn towards babyfacedom (I need Hanger to retain some crazy, please… don’t go fully Facey McFacerson), Ospreay saying “I like you but I don’t give a damn about your struggles,” with just a glint of heelness… it ruled. RULED, I say. ASCENSION VS. REDEMPTION. I mean, they could put that on a poster! Somewhere along the way, Ospreay became one of the best promos in wrestling, something I was CERTAIN he would never be capable of… amd Hanger is no slouch on the mic, either. His mannerisms, the subtle stuff like removing Ospreay’s hand off of him when Ospreay tried to hold him back… It’s good stuff and I’m content to enjoy the ride. They’re SO good at what they do that they make me even not mind hoary wrestling trope #2: the can they get along cliché! I mean, these are tropes as old as time, but they make me feel it, even CRAVE it.

Either way, someone is dethroning Jon Moxley and that’s the biggest thing to me, the most important thing. We CAN’T wait for Darby to do a thingie (“It’s called a GRIND, BRO”) off of Mount Everest or whatever. So no, I don’t love the opening promo / interview trope, but when it’s so GOOD, when it’s done so well, with world class performers, I’m willing to look the other way.

That being said, for a placeholder feud, Samoa Joe is a REALLY good, really CREDIBLE challenger for Moxley. You KNOW he will lose… but it’s okay, you know? It’s not fucking over Swerve Strickland and actively deflating your fans.

Meanwhile, we have the Don Callis Family, which keeps going from strength to strength. Adding Roppongi Vice makes sense, works well… same with Josh Alexander, someone I’ve never really been a huge fan of but slots in well in this context… Kyle Fletcher is evolving IN FRONT OF OUR EYES into some kind of hot pink phenomenon, you still have the grounded greatness of Konosuke Takeshita… Don himself is such a credible scumbag, such a jerkoff but then he does the worst thing possible and HAS SUCCESS… the Callis Family are easily my favorite act on TV right now, by quite some margin. He joked on Wednesday that AEW should be “Don Callis Championship Wrestling” and I was HOLLERING at the screen “HELL YEAH, IT SHOULD!” He cut an incredible promo on the Outrunners (thereby turning face with my household), saying “I wrestled in the 80s… and we had a word for guys like these. BRAINDEAD.”

Just… impossibly great.

So, now it’s time for the DJ Convoy mea culpa segment.

Men I own mea culpas to:

Ricochet

FTR

Women I owe mea culpas to:

Jamie Hayter

I’ll tackle (ooh er, missus) Hayter first… I was a big fan of hers before she got hurt… she was easily my favorite part of AEW’s women’s division and I was REALLY looking forward to her inevitable split with Dr. Britt Baker before we got off track with the useless Saraya and the injury and etc. Then, finally… Hayter comes back… and looks like a 2nd rate Becky Lynch and is wrestling like a shadow of her former self. I was pretty bummed. However, her in-ring is coming back… the secret, savage truth of wrestling is that ring rust is real and only wrestling prepares you for wrestling, so you have to get in the ring to get it back. I’m confident she’ll get back to where she was… but then I was very worried she’s going to be eaten alive by Mercedes Moné, who I still find to be a selfish performer both in ring and especially on the mic… but Hayter sits down and does this interview with Renee Paquette… perhaps her finest interview / promo performance ever. I still worry that Moné will eat he up as they barrel down the road for a Moné / Toni Storm match but Hayter impressed me SO MUCH here that I don’t think she’ll be willing to go into that good night quietly. I’m SORRY, Ms. Hayter.

FTR I will apologize to, at least in a limited fashion… I think anyone who watches this stuff regularly would acknowledge that FTR work MUCH better as shitbag heels than they do as tryhard babyfaces. So while I can’t apologize for disliking the years they spent trying to be babyfaces… partnering with Stokely (STROKELY?) Hathaway and continuing to mess with Tony Schiavone and Nigel McGuinness… it’s really wonderful, old school stuff, the stuff they always TALK about but now are actually DOING. What a refreshing new coat of paint this has been for them. Also, big shout out to Schiavone, who is really COMPELLING as the disappointed wrestling dad to FTR… and then STANDING UP to Stoke as if to say, “hey, they’re wrestlers, I’ll let them push me around, but not YOU,” and SUPER shout out to Nigel, who is taking hoary wrestling trope #3, the beleaguered ex wrestler announcer standing up for his partner, and making that old chestnut SING. So apologies for saying that I wanted FTR launched into the Sun. Keep being douchebag, entitled, officious heels and we’re cool.

The one that’s really hard to apologize about is RICOCHET. I will go to my GODDAMNED GRAVE saying that he came in and didn’t get it at first; I don’t think that this heel turn was a plan… it was a pivot. But WHAT a pivot. Everything started clicking when the Hurt Syndicate GEEKED him, and then Swerve SUPER KING MEGA GEEKED him, and from thereon, particularly after the stint at the Hammerstein, Ric has done an AMAZING turn into the skid. This braggadocious twerp, this little creep… it’s a fun character. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I get excited when he’s on screen the way I do when the Callis Family shows up… but he’s VERY effective in a upper midcard gate keeper twerp-y heel role.

AND THEN LAST NITE, HE ONLY WENT AND KICKED THE LEG OUT OF ZACH GOWEN’S LEG.

Not only that, he removed Gowen’s prosthesis and HELD IT ALOFT AS IF IT WERE A TROPHY AS HE WALKED TO THE BACK. My wife instantly deadpanned “They should have a battle to see who gains control of the LEG.” How she isn’t booking for a local indy, I’ll never know. Actually, let’s further use her as an example, as I often do. She was HOWLING during the Ricochet / Gowen stuff and even though she would be loathe to admit it… I think she gets a kick out of Ricochet now. OF ALL PEOPLE, RICOCHET HAS NEARLY WON HER OVER. SO APOLOGIES, TREVOR. IT HURTS TO SAY IT BUT SINCE YOUR HEEL TURN YOU HAVE BEEN GOOD. I WAS (mostly) WRONG.

The only thing over the two nights that I wasn’t especially enamored of was Maxwell Jacob Friedman completely CRUSHING the fellas in Top Flight single-handedly. Now, the Martin brothers didn’t really do themselves any favors with a milquetoast “we’re plucky babyfaces and we always bounce back” promo seconds before but squashing the young talents like that… I LIKE Top Flight and I want bigger things from them. Being eaten alive by MJF does them NO favors. MJF does no one favors, period, to say nothing of the Hurt Business Syndicate. You wanna talk the Jericho Vortex? How about the MJF Bermuda fucking Triangle? THE SARGASSO OF THE SEAS.

Overall, these were two fun nights, coming from a cool venue (the Masonic Temple in Detroit) and AEW is continuing it’s streak of slow and steady comeback TV. It’s been good stuff lately for the most part, and long may it continue.