La Zona Muerta

I mean… it was a good show. Good build to the pay per view. Shitty venue with a crowd that started fine and ended up as Florida goobers, but we’ll (probably) get to that. The ELEMENTS, the COMPONENTS of the show were good.

But there are a couple of things that left a bitter taste in my mouth, one thing internal, one external.

If you’re reading this, you likely know me or at least my online persona (which, honestly really isn’t that much different than the real life me); my politics are probably not a surprise to most of you. West Coast white guy, semi educated, semi well read liberal. Pro gay rights. Pro trans rights. Pro immigrants, pro being left the fuck alone. My biggest political stance probably veers treacherously towards the libertarian; government should be here to catch us when we fall, to ease the path for us and that’s about it.

You put ads for ICE (you know… the new American Gestapo?) on my TV during my silly wrestle time? It’s going to affect my enjoyment of the show. I was legitimately angry all night about the ad break… and there were at least five or six of them. If you were watching on HBO MAX and it affected YOUR enjoyment of the show, please use this form and TELL THEM SO:

https://help.hbomax.com/us/Feedback/index

ICE is anti-American. Anti-HUMAN. ICE is the kind of shit our grandfathers FOUGHT AGAINST. One of the greatest shames our country EVER perpetrated was the internment of American citizens of Japanese ancestry during World War II and we are RIGHT back there again because of the greed and fear of dumb, non literate, ill educated WHITE PEOPLE who can’t bear the idea of having someone of another skin color near them unless it’s in a role of service.

End of sermon but it soured my enjoyment of this show. Sorry, AEW.

So… Year 6 of AEW (I know we all lost a year or two in the time warp of the pandemic… but… Jesus God… Year 6?!) started off with, appropriately enough, Kenny Omega (and Brody King and Bandido) versus the Young Bucks (and Josh Alexander). It’s not exactly an original observation but I’ll say it anyway… when Kenny Omega is on the show, AEW feels MORE like AEW. All year, I’ve read or listened to people saying that Kenny looks miserable. Unmotivated. WASHED (a word the greater wrestling community at large overuse to such a degree that the term has no meaning). He must still be hurt or more hurt than he lets on. He’s this. He’s that.

I’ve accepted the idea that we aren’t going to get a much Kenny in a year as we used to get. Nearly twenty years of going as hard as he did will do that to you, you know? Candles burning bright and all that. And yet, despite that…

KENNY STILL LOOKS GREAT, EVEN IF HE’S PLAYING THE GREATEST HITS IN A SIX MAN TAG MATCH. People are acting like he’s falling apart in front of our eyes like Hiroshi Tanahashi or something but honestly, Kenny looked GREAT here. The way the match was set up sure made it appear as though Kenny’s next big match is against Josh Alexander, a match they reportedly both want.

And yet, that’s apparently NOT what we’re getting.

I genuinely don’t recall why I drew this. I think it had something to do with the FIRST time he showed up in AEW, paired with real life human garbage can Vicki Guerrero. I think he was advertised as having a big announcement, TK-style or summat and they failed to deliver

Kenny gave a post match speech, putting over AEW, and the long and winding road we ALL took to get to year six. I normally HATE the put over speech but here, it felt good, real. Kenny bid everyone adieu, good night *BANG*… and then the lights went out. A hulking figure with stringy brown / blond long hair appeared in a suit and I legitimately groaned OUT LOUD, thinking it was Chris Jericho. The black Black Mask mask should have been the give away… it was Andrade.

Mrs. Convoy came out from the hall. “WHy did you make that wounded animal noise?” she asked. I pointed at the screen. “Listen to the music! It’s Andrade!” I wailed. She rolled her eyes and muttered “bush league.”

So… all over my Bluesky timeline last night… I saw nothing but people cheering about this seeming blow against WWE. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here with a mere handful of my pals going “Did Tony Khan learn nothing the last time?” Then I have people FANTASY BOOKING THE REASONS ANDRADE LEFT AEW and what led to his toxic behavior in the past (we’ll just say most people have decided it involves his ex-wife and leave it there) and it’s like… what the FUCK are we doing here? Andrade has been a disappointment EVERYWHERE HE HAS GONE. It took him, what, less than a year in AEW the last time to start getting cagey and vague tweeting about wanting out and probably roughly the same amount of time for the same behavior upon his return to WWE? Meanwhile… I’m like… if we’re putting up with temperamental diva behavior for great matches… where is this catalogue of great matches? His mask match in CMLL from, what,thirteen years ago? All those “bangers” (that’s what you kids say, right? “Bangers?”) in New Japan? ALL THOSE GREAT NXT MATCHES? If you remember your NXT LORE, Andrade had SHITTY, unmotivated matches in kayfabe AND real life and SUCKED until Zelina Vega came to manage him and get him back on track! That was the actual storyline! He was overrated and sucked until a manager got him to pull his thumb out! And if you’re SO HAPPY to have him return to AEW… where are the great matches from his first AEW run? I’LL WAIT.

Obviously Andrade is a decent wrestler. After all, places keep hiring him! But he’s not a difference maker. He’s not someone who people are rubbing their hands with glee in anticipation over. And I’m DAMN sure not going to fantasy book his second run in AEW because BAD LADY GONE.

More irritating is that it’s pretty clear Kenny has a limited run time… and this is the man you’re wasting a precious (YES, I SAID PRECIOUS) Kenny match on? There are a probably a DOZEN men in AEW that Kenny has never had a singles with that could put on a SPECTACLE and the first thing we do upon Kenny’s return is pair him with this also ran? You also have the fact that KYLE FLETCHER laid out Kenny a month ago but nothing was done about that situation in the LEAST. At least a seed of reconciliation between Kenny and the Bucks was planted during all this nonsense… you can kind of color in-between the lines in regards to Don Callis using Fletcher, then Josh Alexander, then hired gun / hired goon Andrade to take out Kenny, but the connective tissue is merely head canon until it’s laid out on TV.

*Dad voice* I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed.

One thing Andrade is weak on… promos… they sidestepped that by immediately aligning Andrade with Don Callis and his ever growing family / army. That makes sense even if Don’s faction is probably getting a hair too large by this point, but… it makes sense. Of course, in the same night, Don ALSO gained the evil Hologram clone, EL CLON (and somehow, stupidly, the wrestlers, crowd and clueless commentary desk all fell for the old switcheroo, and then in the ultimate celebration of 6 YEARS OF AEW, the production team partially missed the El Clon reveal), and it’s like… even for me, a big Callis supporter… enough already.

The other big story on the show, which I was super into, as were most good hearted people, but is ALREADY causing some of the dirt worst discourse in a twist you absolutely saw coming… Hangman Adam Page’s next contender for his men’s world heavyweight title… is SAMOA JOE. I love Joe, SO MUCH. Yesterday was the anniversary of one of my favorite matches of all time, his blistering bout in Ring of Honor against one of the two or three men who could legitimately lay claim to being the best wrestler of all time (not that he himself would ever say it); Kenta Kobashi! God, what a match. Anyway, Hanger, Joe and Powerhouse Hobbs ganged together to kill some Death Riders and had a great trios match. Post match, Hangman hit his taunt button, the post match victory thing he does where he rushes to the ring post and holds up his title. In doing so, he sort of threw down Joe’s title belt to get to his own. Joe looked down at the fallen trios title, sitting in the ring for nearly thirty seconds, and, since Joe is a terrific performer with probably a better grasp on his wrestling character than literally ANYONE else in the business, went from a subtle look of confusion to irritation to rage. He immediately got in Page’s face while Page celebrated, and demanded to know why Page disrespected him. Page had no idea what Joe was talking about and this led to a tremendous pull apart where Joe screamed “I will fuck your ass!” at Page.

If THAT isn’t a draw for some people…

Seriously, this was all great. An imagined slight led to two dudes full of testosterone, engines revved high, to get pissed at each other. Backstage interviews later clarified things… Joe said that while it could be looked at as a misunderstanding, Page has never BEAT Joe… so why shouldn’t Joe take back what’s his (the title)? Hanger pointed out that if Joe didn’t stop having a “bitch fit,” Hanger would RUIN HIS LIFE. This, THIS is all I really need in wrestling… a quick seed of a story, a reason for two mean dudes to wallop each other and then they go wallop each other. So of course, this is already leading to “this is out of nowhere, where’s the story” takes from people who ought to know better or at least need to not watch the show on fast forward.

Samoa Joe is the single easiest character to heat up for title contention because he is a badass who people buy as a badass. AEW did this PERFECTLY and it’s STILL not enough for some people. THIS is why AEW fans give defenses for every little thing, every little issue in the company… because bad faith idiots try to clown on time honored booking tropes like this one. SHAME.

There was other good stuff on the show… Kris Statlander getting a fairly muted reception from the by the sucky and burnt out by the end of the evening crowd and going to a strong one as she, Darby Allin, Wheeler YUTA and Marina Shafir all LAID WASTE to each other in the main event, which served to heat up the issue between Darby and Mox. Kyle Fletcher and the returned Orange Cassidy having a belter of a TNT title match (this was where the El Clon silliness struck… it was executed well enough but the commentary team having to be deaf dumb and blind is a wrestling trope I loathe). Don Callis sending his two killers, Kazuchika Okada and Konosuke Takeshita in a “can they coexist” tag team against Brody King and Bandido is also good stuff. There was some dumb sgit, too… interminable promos by the usual suspects (including a LONG, terrible promo from MVP which was both a “yay, Florida man” circle jerk special and a rotten deal where, although he’s supposed to be the mouthpiece for the Hurt Syndicate, he made everything about himself because GOTTA GET THAT HEAT BACK, BROTHER) and a crowd that went from fine to doing “What?” chants during Toni Storm’s promo time. A word about the venue, as well… AEW had something around 3700 fans on hand for this show… respectable… but it looked like garbage on TV just simply due to the way the seating was laid out in clusters. A terrible TV venue, and ultimately, a poor crowd; never go to Hollywood, Florida again.

WrestleDream is pretty soon… under three weeks out… but it seems like the programs are pretty strong thus far. Six years and we still get production gaffes, head canon and fail to learn lessons about certain people… but the reality is we, as wrestling fans are richer, better off for having AEW in our lives.