La Zona Muerta

Part of consuming wrestling, for better or worse, is consuming online noise about it (he says, typing on his computer in order to post wrestling criticism online). Sometimes that noise is good, sometimes it’s tiresome. Of late, I’ve found it fairly tiresome. Some of the dirt worst discourse of late; takes and raging anti-takes about the likes of Andrade, Hijo del Fantasma, Izzy Moreno (!), ratings recalibration, the suitability of Hangman Adam Page as champion, all sorts, very little of it fun.

And I sit here, doing my stream of consciousness thing, preparing to write about a decent show, certainly not a BAD show by any means… but I’m not certain it was much fun, either. Not much for me to sink my teeth into in a review sense. And that means contributing to the anti-AEW noise, the constant, cloud of super scrutiny that will ALWAYS hang around the promotion. The irony of me griping about negative AEW discourse isn’t lost on me when I’m not particularly moved to rave about the promotion, believe me.

A lot of AEW feedback I’ve heard of late is that the show (meaning Dynamite) is MISSING something. That’s a fairly nebulous, unconstructive gripe… and yet… I’d definitely agree last night’s show, at least, was missing something, despite a lot of good wrestling and some solid storyline development. WrestleDream (still one of the weirdest shows in the AEW canon; a show ostensibly created to celebrate the founder of New Japan Pro Wrestling, Antonio Inoki, despite having nothing to do with NJPW or Inoki other than a possible appearance by his extended family) seems to be taking shape well… no killer program but a lot of decently built matches. No drama about start times or counter programming, just a plain, old decent AEW pay per view.

Happier times. I assume Mutoh was standing on a box here as Inoki TOWERED over the man in real life

And yet.

Despite the greatness of the Samoa Joe / Hangman Page sudden mini feud… and you know that will be, at bare minimum, a solid match between the two… it’s just kind of there. Feels like it’s marking time a bit. FTR vs. JetSpeed, I suppose if it’s added to the show? Fine. Just announced last night… Kyle Fletcher vs. Mark Briscoe? Sounds good, sure, but we’ve seen that one at least a couple times now. Young Bucks and Jurassic Express? I don’t have a lot of interest. Would be a hot main on an average Dynamite, I guess. Kenny Omega and Andrade (if it’s added to the show? That one’s not official)? Fine, I guess. The can they get along team of Konosuke Takeshita and Kazuchika Okada against Bandido and Brody King? Will be good but is it going to be a mile different than what we just got on Tuesday? Darby Allin and Jon Moxley I Quit match? Guaranteed to be a spectacle if nothing else… perhaps TOO much of a spectacle if all the fire teases of the last three weeks mean anything. Toni Storm and Kris Stalander? Should be fine.

See a trend, there? FINE. Everything should be fine. But where’s the stuff that makes you sit up and say WOW?

Not a shot, not disrespect to anyone in particular, just a realization as I type that nothing seems especially stand out in AEW right now. We’re waiting for Takeshita to make that babyface turn. We’re waiting for Kenny Omega to finally make a move against the Don Callis Family. We’re waiting for Hangman to be given something to REALLY sink his teeth into. If I’m perfectly honest, we’re waiting for Will Ospreay and Swerve Strickland to get back. Despite the number of tag team matches I listed, we’re waiting for the tag team division to get back to being it’s own thing (that Okada / Takeshita / Bandido / King match has NOTHING to do with the tag titles; it’s there to further the eventual Okada / Takeshita match). I suppose, despite being six years old, the build, the card for WrestleDream is indicative of the growing pains of AEW, trying to start maybe moving past the original stars of the promotion and move them into utility roles while setting up the newer stars… but then some of the newer stars aren’t available.

I don’t mind treading water. Just give me something interesting to look at while I do.

Look, I can’t complain about the lion’s share of the actual WRESTLING on the show last night. Jon Moxley / Tomohiro Ishii was a hard hitting affair. Ishii still brings it when he wants and Moxley, who I’ve traditionally never been a fan of… for the past four months or so… he’s been great. THIS is the guy I wanted to see in New Japan, this is the guy I wanted in AEW. I remember Moxley having a match with Minoru Suzuki in 2019 where Suzuki was literally SCREAMING at him to lay it in, and Moxley was using the worst, lamest strikes, straight from Stamford right to the former King of Pancrase. I remember just thinking “this guy doesn’t get it.” Well, now? HE GETS IT. He rivals Samoa Joe as someone who has a higher level understanding of what his character is supposed to be. There was a time where I would have been DISGUSTED that Moxley beat Ishii with a choke but here? Now? It works.

Speaking of Joe, I just again want to say that he’s one of the very best practitioners of what he does. Real life badass who knows how to project that character on the screen and does so WITHOUT TAKING ANYTHING AWAY from Hangman Page, a different breed of badass, but himself a tough dude. I wish Joe with this level of understanding of himself and his craft had the body, the fire of 2005 Joe, when he was someone who could have probably been in contention for being the best wrestler in the world. Joe should be acting (and no, I don’t mean being a body actor on Twisted Metal) when his sun finally sets.

Kyle O’Reilly and Kyle Fletcher had an excellent rematch of their dumb “Kyle” fueled rivalry. They were all but BEGGING the crowd to do the “LET’S GO KYLE” thing and, to my delight, the crowd never really bit. You know my feelings on that; the PNW crowd that did all the Kyle chants weren’t into the match… they were into CHANTING, and so was a lot of the online discourse, at least in my circles. The meme was suddenly more important than the match.

Listen, KOR is a wacky dude in real life, but on TV they lean WAY too far into him being a clown, with weird Dad jokes, goofy faces and just incomprehensible strangeness. I get it to a degree; you want the guy to display personality, but I feel like they’ve gone too far in one direction when KOR should be presented as a dangerous martial artist who is a threat to anyone’s title. Sort of like how they have pulled back somewhat with Roderick Strong, who’s only a LITTLE goofy these days. They’re also guilty of doing this to Mark Briscoe, but that’s a rant for another day. “Funny” guys in wrestling have to walk a fine line between funny and buffoon, and Kyle has been depicted as a buffoon too often for people to take him seriously. I hope they scale back. Anyway, he and Fletcher had an absolute CLINIC here, just a brutal contest with savage holds and nasty, impactful moves. I want to see more matches like this.

Mercedes Moné had a fine little match with the debuting (if you don’t count her appearance in ROH) Lacey Lane, who I believe is the former Kayden Carter (I wouldn’t know; I don’t watch NXT). Lane looked fine, even good in spots. A little “do a move, get to the next move” but a LOT of people have that problem, up to and including Mercedes, IMO. Perfectly cromulent match. I’d definitely be open to seeing more of Lane.

What wasn’t so good was the speculation leading up to the match. Despite people not understanding what Mercedes challenging someone from FLORIDA meant (good lord. I’m no GEOGRAPHER, but fuck me rigid, people get dumb about that when they start guessing everyone and the kitchen sink)… you knew it would be a big return or a debut since it was an open challenge; it wasn’t just going to be someone from the rank and file. And, while I hope the rumor didn’t stem from my old homestead (it probably did).. .a lot of people seemed to think the mystery challenger would be Izzy Moreno, the former omnipresent NXT staple Bayley superfan who was always in the front row of nearly every NXT show (thanks to the real life machinations of her parents, particularly her pathetic stage dad who is DESPERATE to be in the business for real). Little Izzy and Mercedes had a brief angle in NXT ten years ago as part of Mercedes’ never ending rivalry with Bayley and Izzy and Mercedes have traded barbs on… sigh.. Twitter… so now that Izzy is beginning her journey as a worker, some people were REALLY talking themselves into this pairing as a viable match. A match predicated on NXT history. On AEW Homecoming. A show up against NXT on a head to head basis.

Good fucking Gotch above. Do I REALLY have to explain how dumb that is? An actual comment on a forum I belong to, not a strawman; a real person said this (after glibly pointing out to me that Mercedes Moné used to wrestle in WWE as Sasha Banks). “Let Mercedes have a stinker (match) as a little treat.”

No. NO, DAMMIT. We have the right to expect BETTER from AEW. Obviously I can’t be angry at AEW; they didn’t do this terrible match but I can definitely be mad at the dopes who talked themselves into this potential NXT offer match being a good idea. These are the people who cheered Edge doing John Cena spots in his LENGTHY tribute to SmackDown 2003 on the last pay per view. LET AEW BE AEW. Have nostalgia for AEW, not for stupid NXT, especially on AEW’s airwaves. What happened to our standards? You want NXT nostalgia? Go watch the fucking CW and maybe you’ll get lucky and get some Supernatural reruns in the bargain.

The show was capped off with the return of the Bastard PAC against the recently returned himself Orange Cassidy. Ever since PAC did whatever he did to himself that utterly transformed his body back in, I don’t know, 2009? 10? he’s always been consistently huge and jacked but last night…? He looked like he ATE the previous PAC and was about as wide as he is tall. In fact, he looked like he was dehydrated the way body builders are before they take part of a meet. And yet, he still moves well; not muscle bound, not heavy the way Billy Kidman or Rey Mysterio were when they put on way more muscle than their frames could handle. Instead of doing the repertoire of “the man gravity forgot,” PAC has transitioned to rarely leaving his feat and instead doing SAVAGE GRAPPLING, which is rad. PAC was GREAT at flips and things… some of the best body control I’ve ever seen, but I’d rather see him prolong his longevity while transitioning to being a more holds based grappler. Of course, Orange Cassidy, if anything probably underrated as a grappler himself, was a perfect ragdoll for PAC to attack. I wasn’t in love with the finish of this hard hitting match; essentially Orange and PAC brawled to the outside and, I half thought, were in danger of being counted out… but a crazed Darby Allin randomly appeared to bollix PAC’s chances and cuffed his ankle to a rail while Orange retreated back to the ring. Obviously, PAC IS JACKED, so a mere handcuff chain couldn’t hold him, but PAC sprinting back to the ring allowed Orange to take advantage and hit PAC with a flash roll up for the victory. Eh. I suppose that’s their way of protecting PAC somewhat. Orange disappeared and DARK DARBY took center stage, brandishing a variety of weapons; some sort of pepper spray, a fire extinguisher, a stun gun… and then at the end of the show, a MOLOTOV COCKTAIL which he was sadly prevented from using by an overzealous security team member who tackled him (with bizarre after the fact sound effect foley). I cackled at the MOLOTOV threat but of course, that’s a bit dumb, just too much for WRESTLING… and then you realize that the Molotov, the flamethrower, the body bag Darby already set on fire… the I Quit match is going to have to involve fire in some shape or fashion and man… I dunno. I don’t really relish that idea and hope that, whatever obnoxious stunt they have in mind, that it’s safe and not too ridiculous. It’s going to steal the oxygen (so to speak) out of any possible post show discourse and we’re going to get a LOT of lectures about safety and such. Let’s forget that Cody Rhodes LITERALLY SET HIMSELF ON FIRE TO WIN THE AEW AUDIENCE BACK (and failed, heh heh); the discourse will lack that fact, of course.

So yeah, AEW Homecoming or whatever. Unlike some, I’m not really a fan of Daly’s Place as a venue. The safety rails are too close to the ring (the Orange / PAC match had some good examples of what I’m talking about; they didn’t have a lot of room to work with). It looks okay on TV, I guess, but with the LED boards and such… I’m not a huge fan. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Still waiting for WOW.

I’m hoping for something to kick things up to the next level. Not a crazy reboot, not punishing Hangman Page for some imagined metric he isn’t meeting, but a l’il shakeup? I think that’d be welcome.