La Zona Muerta

A behind the scenes glimpse into how the sausage is made here at YOUR favorite lukewarm takes factory, La Zona Muerta. I watch a wrestling show (or something), lament that I don’t take the time to write about more non wrestling topics, beat myself up for awhile, remember that I have been writing about wrestling related things for MANY YEARS PRIOR to writing whatever this dumb blog thing is supposed to be, try to make note of some of the things that are funny or attention worthy, tell some pithy jokes to the wife as a sort of test bed, steal her jokes instead, half write a column in my head, sleep on it, shake thoroughly and then vomit type out the results in the morning.

Today is no different in that I had digested Dynamite, a very good Dynamite, and I sort of had my flow and pithy comments ready to go.

But then, when I woke up and scanned socials, it turned out that Brody King, notable by his absence on last night’s show, may have been targeted for removal by WBD officials afraid of “Fuck ICE” chants again breaking out on TV. Or maybe he was left off of TV due to an over abundance of caution against same. Or maybe he wasn’t scheduled for TV at all (which is weird but given travel times / wanting to have everyone lined up, not impossible). He was mentioned last night, specifically by Kenny Omega which was a little strange in context, and then there was indeed a package summarizing the King / Maxwell Jacob Friedman program… but the number one contender, who seems hot right now, and who definitely picked up some mainstream attention over the last week, wasn’t actually on TV. Seems notable.

Keep in mind that neither Brody King nor MJF, nor AEW encouraged the “Fuck ICE” chants that cropped up last week nor did he instigate them or anything like that; the crowd simply chose him as an avatar since he has espoused anti-ICE beliefs in the past and chose to chant or blow off steam or what have you. AEW did give those chants some space to breathe, perhaps surprisingly, and the chants kind of blew up into a bit of a mainstream story. I was a little nervous about this, not because I disagree but more because AEW finds itself in a tricky place every time someone decides that they are the good guy, “left” wrestling company. It sets up a probably unfair expectation that AEW are gonna do the right thing (TM Spike Lee) in any given situation.

Did WBD officials ask Tony Khan to cool it with Brody King for a week? I don’t really know. I could ask around but that really isn’t my… job? with this column, certainly not with it’s seemingly last minute, stream of consciousness format. This column is meant to be a clearing house of my thoughts about the only wrestling show left that I care about enough to watch weekly (okay, I generally watch Collision as well, but that’s rarely worth writing about). I guess I’m not really here for that sort of hard hitting journalism, and I’m only going to really comment if that story is confirmed; I’m not yet ready to freak out about it, one way or the other.

Without being too overtly political (he said in a cowardly fashion), you don’t REALLY know my politics (if you know me, you probably have a fair idea and obviously I have groused about ICE and Trump here in the past, but beyond that, beyond an idea of being a vague, West Coast liberal, you don’t REALLY know, and you don’t really need to), and that’s okay. It’s probably not 100% necessary to know how I vote for you to enjoy my work. I don’t, for the most part, attach my politics to my entertainment, at least not for the dumb wrestling show I watch. But there is a grim reality we have to face; real life and politics and entertainment are all colliding in HORRIBLE ways, now, an inescapable morass, all because the United States elected a hateful, disgusting shitty reality TV star griftlord and failed land mogul who was the punchline to nearly every joke about the wealthy circa 1987 to 1992, to the highest office in the land. And everything, from then on, has essentially been a parody of real life as we spiral into a post truth, post facts, post rationality era. There are no longer ideological disagreements of right versus left; there is right and wrong and the United States, never exactly a bastion of rightness in the first place, is now spiraling down a big drain of “wrong.” It is nearly impossible now, to not be “political” when writing about something, nearly anything.

The US is actively attacking its own citizens and prospective citizens in an ill-conceived completely improvisational, fruitless plan to somehow defeat the influx of immigrants (nevermind that the country was founded by non native immigrants). It’s disgusting, shameful stuff that will haunt us as a nation forever. When recruitment commercials for the national organization tasked with this cowardly work (ICE) appeared on AEW television, AEW fans collectively rose up and effectively campaigned for them to be removed. However, herein lies a slippery slope. Certain fans have cast AEW as this bastion of left wing positivity. I can see why, to an extent; the other guys are actively in bed with the Trump administration, Linda McMahon is destroying our already beleaguered educational system, and Triple fucking HAITCH (he of the overworked heart due to the massive amounts of chemicals he’s self administered since 1993) is out here telling kids how to exercise. AEW MUST therefore be the good guys, right? They let CM Punk wear a pro abortion shirt that one time. Kenny Omega pointed to a trans rights flag. Hangman Adam Page is a progressive. Brody King had a shirt that said “Abolish ICE.” AEW must, therefore, be the opposite of WWE. Right?

I try not to be a scold, a nag, but I find myself in that position from time to time. Not because I’m this especially smart or insightful person or anything, but because I’m old and have lived through a lot of dumb bullshit, and I get FRUSTRATED when I see the young attach themselves to something, only to be disappointed, time and time again. (See the Hangman Adam Page controversy two weeks ago where he was pictured with scummy Marty Scurll.) If you attach too much of yourself to ANY form of entertainment, wrestling, comics, movies, music (Jesus, ESPECIALLY music) and treat it as this never ending purity test… you’re gonna end up miserable and disappointed. Sure, try to consume things ethically, or as ethically as possible… but I’m not going to stop watching old episodes of Mr. Show just because Jay Johnston ended up being a traitor to my country. Almost all of your old favorite rock stars had a taste for groupies and often, underage ones at that. Hollywood is a disgusting morass of bootlickers, capitulators, coverups and MURDERERS but because we like, I dunno, old episodes of Hart to Hart or whatever, I guess we overlook that. I’m not saying “excuse yourself and go watch WWE, free of sin” or anything; I’m saying that it’s best not to put AEW on this shining pedestal of being the left-leaning progressive company because WE DON’T KNOW. We don’t work there. When it comes out that WBD DID indeed ask for Brody King to be deemphasized this week, some people are going to lash out at AEW for capitulating, for not standing up to WBD (famously undergoing a merger with Netflix, while trying to fend off a hostile takeover with a very pro-Trump media company). Is Tony Khan to blame for not standing up to them, for not carrying YOUR exact moral ethics? I can’t answer that for you, nor am I especially interested in doing same. I just want you to be REALISTIC about things. I don’t want you to tie YOURSELF so completely to the media you consume to the point where you have to be disappointed. Give yourself a bit of emotional distance from the media you consume so you don’t have to be so fucking DEVASTATED when the producers turn out to not be what you thought they were.

Anyway.

This was a terrific Dynamite. There’s not really a lot to say about it that won’t come off as nit picking or eye rolling. I don’t love that Kyle Fletcher is back in the TNT title ranks, fighting perpetual foe Mark Briscoe AGAIN FOR THE SEVENTH GODDAMNED TIME in my least favorite type of match (ladder matches need to go the way of the dodo; dangerous and stupid for no return. “Help, how do I climb again? I forgot”), but I DO love that he beat Tomasso “The Policeman is my friend” Ciampa for it (whoops, I thought I wasn’t supposed to get too political). I do have faith that Fletch with the TNT title is a step and will lead to his eventual dissolution with Don Callis.

I complained about the Swerve Strickland / Omega side story last week, and I stand by what I said, but Kenny and Swerve did a FANTASTIC job of making their feud feel like a big, big deal. I’m not especially enamoured of the “start the show with an interview” trope, but Swerve KILLED it here, and Kenny, while possessing… let’s say a “unique” delivery, is actually underrated on the microphone, in my opinion, and certainly held his own (this was where Kenny offhandedly mentioned Brody King as being the most dangerous man in AEW and given what may have come to light today, that seemingly offhand comment suddenly makes more sense). THe only thing you have to laugh at is security / the referee corps trying to break these guys up when they fight. Like, what’chu gonna do to break up these two massive dudes who are known for violence. YOU DON’T PAY ME ENOUGH TO BREAK THEM UP, CHET.

Hey, welcome back to Private Party, even if it looked like Marq Quen ATE the previous Marq Quen. Holy Gotch, he was SHUGE, just GIGANDO. PP are kind of… they always have good matches with the Young Bucks, so it’s good they were in there with them to make their return. However, they were also in there with Myron Reed of the Rascalz, who’s better than either of them, so, yeah, swings and roundabouts. I don’t think PP are an act that AEW NEEDS, necessarily, but I think they should have a role and hopefully they stick around as a solid midcard act. Another case where I enjoyed the match, but the outcome… I’m not especially psyched about the idea of the Bucks squaring off with FTR for the umpteenth time. It’s been done to death and I’m not certain the two teams have ever really had that one good, classic match together. Hey, maybe they think the same thing and that’s why we’re heading this direction? Answers on a postcard.

I guess that brings us to poor Kris Statlander. Listen, I like Stat, have done since the BEYOND days. Never really got the alien thing, but whatever. Maybe she just really likes Joe Satriani? Her charisma… not saying she doesn’t have any. I actually quite liked her work when the Death Riders were kinda / sorta courting her and she seemed like the biggest badass in the world when she killed Wheeler YUTA, flipped off Jon Moxley and got the fuck out of Dodge…

None of that seemed to really carry over to her title reign. She seemed awkward, nervous and uncompelling.

I don’t want / need her to have the effortless, smiling energy of Willow Nightingale, the relentless tryhard energy of Harley Cameron or anything like that. I want Kris Stat to come into her own and so far, especially when she has had to share time with Thekla, she’s just not shown me very much at all. Thekla is BRIMMING with charisma and is a surprisingly (for me, anyway) good promo (in English, no less) and, with the exception of one thing about her act (the Sisters of Mercy or whatever they are called), comes off as exciting, dangerous and cool.

Stat hasn’t been cool since that Death Rider deal in the summer.

I thought that they had a fairly good match, here; not like amazing or anything, but good. Sure looked like Stat got gaffed SHOOTWAY and she was bleeding a ton from a gash in her forehead. Ack. Look, I’m not saying she isn’t tough or a gifted wrestler. I don’t LOVE that Thekla needed her dumb goons to interfere to secure the win, but I guess that’s why bad guys (bad gals) have dumb goons, right? There were some TOUGH spots in this match and that strap looked like no joke. Like, I want to call into work when I stub my fucking TOE on the ottoman, y’know? Keep your straps for whatever it is YOU use them for (not trying to shame anyone). I think Stat needs to regroup a little bit. Too many stops, starts and turns have kind of dulled her blade, so to speak. She needs to really get more comfortable with talking, if nothing else. Sharpen the gimmick a bit. Commit to being one alignment and just GIT GUD. I want to see her succeed! In the meantime, I think Thekla being a tough gal for the others to chase makes a lot of sense. Just wish her cohorts were a little more tolerable.

If the Grand Slam show is worth putting (digital) pen to (virtual) paper for, I’ll probably write a little about it. Possible weirdness with Brody King aside (there’s always SOMETHING after a hot Dynamite), the shows seem to be hot and are building well to the keystone events between the pay per views.

Feel free to strike all of this if the Iiconics or AJ Styles or any other also-rans show up in the next few days, of course.