La Zona Muerta

You can’t say AEW gave you a sleepy post pay per view Dynamite THIS week, and to top it off, due to the impending holiday, a Thursday night Collision to boot. Then, on top of all that, next week’s Dynamite sounds insane. AEW feels fairly hot, feels like they are stomping on the gas pedal.

So why am I watching with such a nervous eye?

I will cop to this; I went into Wednesday night in something of a snit, so that may have colored my perceptions somewhat. Keep that in mind as I recap.

We got the now traditional post pay per view Will Ospreay / Kenny Omega filmed check in, and that was fine. But Ospreay was annoying in it (seems like a trend lately), Jon Moxley was inscrutable and weird and Kenny, who’s always weird, was also depicted as being REALLY CLOSE with Ospreay in a way that they’ve never really shown on television. These disparate elements led to me rolling my eyes more than anything else.

In brief, Mox came to congratulate Ospreay and gave him the official Death Riders patch, the seal of the group allowing Ospreay to be a full member. When they finally deprive Ospreay of oxygen with a plastic bag, it’s gonna hit like CRACK COCAINE. At any rate, Ospreay accepted the patch (perhaps begrudgingly, perhaps not) but wanted to know what Mox meant by seeing “it” in Ospreay. “If I knew, I could distill it into words and tell EVERYONE,” Moxley said, and then he started talking about, I dunno, a bucket of crabs or something. “Bucket of crabs, ride with me or fry the soft shells.” Okay, I may have made up that last part. I tend to zone out on this cryptic Moxley stuff… but basically, Moxley was proud of awakening the killer instinct in young Ospreay and wants him at Mox’ side from here on out. Then Kenny Omega appeared to congratulate Ospreay, but Will immediately grew petulant. “Just because you gave up on yourself doesn’t mean I gave up on myself. YOU’RE NOT MY DAD!”

Huh?

Kenny seemed confused by this too, decided not to hit Ospreay with the “watch out for Moxley” stuff and was like “I will support you no matter what, I love you; I’ll see you next week.”

Kenny and Will put aside the bad blood they had from their previous two matches against each other and teamed up one TV one time. Now they’re THIS close? “I will support you no matter what you do?” It’s weird, it’s like the escalation of their friendship happened without us seeing it.I get that Ospreay is a doofus puppy dog man who will likely befriend ANYONE, but… None of this was BAD, exactly… it just felt weird and unearned, like we missed a step. Oh, I forgot, Maxwell Jacob Friedman came in while Will and Kenny were arguing, blew Kenny off and said he’d see Ospreay at Wembley. Bruv.

So they’ve sort of set up that MJF is overlooking Kenny. Okay.

This led immediately to Mark Briscoe versus MJF, and it was good. There’s some stuff I didn’t like about it, which I’ll get to, but Mark Briscoe, along with Orange Cassiday and Darby Allin have become some of the most compelling TV wrestlers in the past twenty years. The nearfalls are believable, the strikes are (mostly) convincing. Mark does do comedy, and I don’t always love that but he usually confines it to the start of the match and the drama ratchets up considerably.

I think the issues in this match were more subtle ones, but recall that I already copped to BEING IN A SNIT. Mark hit MJF with the Cutthroat Driver (essentially a cross armed Burning Hammer, here maybe more of a Death Valley Driver, so a tiny bit safer, something he’s only pulled out on AEW TV a couple of times, most notably in the Continental Classic match with Daniel Garcia). MJF kicked out.

Briscoe hit MJF with the Jay Driller, the double underhook piledriver you may also know as the Tiger Driver ’98, the move that they have been pretty explicit about on commentary that MJF has never kicked out of.

MJF kicked out.

MJF hits Mark Briscoe with the Heatseeker, his draping DDT applied with the thighs / legs, a move he usually uses as a transition or a quick nearfall.

Mark Briscoe, this crazy, feral chicken farmer from Sandy Fork, Delaware, this lunatic wildman… succumbed to a move MJF probably never wins a match with.

I dunno, gang. Stuff like that bugs me a little. Not saying that MJF is Hulk Hogan or anything and this was a good match, a very good match… very dramatic… and obviously the outcome was never in doubt… but MJF takes Briscoe’s best and is fine… and Briscoe takes one of MJF’s MOVES OF DOOM and goes down? Yes, yes, Mark was bleeding already from the head and such, but… it just felt a bit off to me. Briscoe obviously wasn’t going to win, but we should FEEL like he COULD win, yeah?

The other thing that bugged me… much has been made of the group of friends Briscoe finds himself a part of, this Conglomeration. And yet, NONE OF THEM EVER HAVE HIS BACK. I don’t think this is like some sort of seeds being planted or anything; basically MJF was going to beat him up more post match and to set up MJF / Kenny, Kenny came out to make the save. But where are the zillion members of the Conglomeration?

I was fixated on little things like this when Kenny challenged Max and Max said no. Then Max thought better of it, and said yes… if Kenny would agree to the Cody / Hangman “never challenge for the title again if you lose” stip. He gave Kenny the rest of the show to think about it, which was sporting, at least.

Are we really doing this again? The match stip “two members of the Elite fell prey to,” as Matt Jackson dramatically put it? While I feel like Kenny / Ospreay is the obvious Wembley match, presumably with the AEW heavyweight title on the line, the one they are clearly building to, and have been since May or so… we’re going down this road again? And adding to everyone’s anxiety, which I may as well speak of while we’re here… this isn’t a match for the pay per view… THIS IS A MATCH NEXT WEEK ON DYNAMITE.

Huh?

It just feels like some sort of crazy hotshot deal (Editor Convoy’s note; apparently, according to BIG DAVE, this WAS the pay per view match and it is being thrown on this show for some unknown reason). And boy, imagine if MJF WINS that match, which I don’t think is likely, but I told you that in May, as well, where do we go from there? I instantly quipped online “what, does Kenny have a Japan trip scheduled during the pay per view again?” Kenny hit us, the audience, with the “one last run, believe in me one more time” promo, and it was GOOD, but it would be more effective if this weren’t basically the same stuff he told us the LAST TIME he faced MJF. I realize this is likely (LIKELY) a vehicle to get Hangman Adam Page back in the mix, but what then does the pay per view coming up fairly swiftly become? AEW GENERALLY doesn’t do a ton of rematches. Are they really going to do a Kenny / MJF match next Wednesday and then again in three weeks? MJF isn’t dropping two straight falls. Sure, conceivably, Hangman shows up and costs MJF the match on Wednesday. Great. Does that get you to wanting Ospreay and Kenny? Is this all so we can throw up a graphic showing Kenny versus Will at All In on the screen ASAP? I really don’t know. It’s all just feeling a bit off, which I think largely sums up Kenny’s tenure this year and really, most everything he has done since his return. MJF is really, really good… but he also feels stale. It feels like everything revolves around him and that’s fine if the compelling content is there. I thought it was earlier in the year. Now…? Max… go fight Andrade el Idolo. Go deal with a returning Hangman. Get out of the title picture for a bit. Refresh. Reset.

Then, after all of this, newly minted babyface Andrade came out and said his catchphrase a bunch before getting jumped by the Don Callis Family.

Thanks to friend of the blog MJ for the joke. Obviously the problem here is that clearly Andrade ISN’T sad to say his dopey malaprop catchphrase over and over but I’M getting VERY tired of them looking for reasons for him to say it.

During this MUGGING, Kevin Knight came out for his match with newly goblinized Lio Rush. Not too be all Cornette-y / Alvarez-y / Angry Old Man-y here but… other than a small bandage… KEVIN KNIGHT WAS APPARENTLY SUFFERING ZERO ILL EFFECTS FROM HAVING SOMETHING EXPLODE IN HIS FACE AND THEN FALLING THRU MULTIPLE TABLES OFF OF A TALL CAGE. Like… what are we DOING here? They’re TELLING you it’s a cartoon.

I haven’t really said too much about the Lio Rush deal… suffice to say that it’s not my cuppa, but at least the dude has figured out how to get on TV on a more regular basis, so that’s something, I suppose. What got me further out of the match… Lio Rush came out with a backpack, indicating that he’s now part of the Conglomeration.

And my BlueSky timeline ERUPTED. Not with talking about the match, mind you, but just general happiness that the wee goblin man had found friends, I guess. Seriously, I had like twelve mutals or friends in a row simply saying “BACKPACK” or “he got the backpack!” or variations on same.

You know I try hard not to yuck anyone’s yum, but, the messages weren’t about the match or how annoying it is that once again an ROH title holder has to do the honors on AEW TV or even about Kevin Knight’s apparently miraculous healing abilities… the only thing anyone cared about was THE BACKPACK. Lio Rush gained the power of friendship. Maybe. I’m starting to worry that wrestling in its modern incarnation is passing me by. The gimmick is more over to a certain segment of the crowd than the wrestling. Personally, I find that to be a bummer; Lio Rush and Kevin Knight should be a match I’m LOSING MY MIND over, and instead, the only thing of note was THE BACKPACK, the only thing anyone wanted to speak of was THE BACKPACK. Sigh.

BACKPACK.

Darby Allin came out after the match ended (I don’t even remember how the match ended, probably because I was doomscrolling through messages stating BACKPACK over and over) and challenged Knight but Don Callis didn’t want to reward CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR. I’m assuming this leads to some sort of exploding / explosive laden match? We shall see. The next PPV is REDEMPTION, after all, and if it’s not gonna have Kenny and MJF main eventing, howzabout AEW REDEEMS the exploding barbed wire match with Darby?

Speaking of CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR, Tomasso Ciampa menaced Chris Jericho with a POWER DRILL. Am I supposed to buy that Ciampa has a chance to PUNCTURE Jericho here? Maybe Chris can retaliate with a SAWZALL. This is a bit too silly for me, but I’m sure to Jericho’s “entertainment” sensibilities, he thinks this is rad. Total shrug for me.

Will Ospreay, now apparently fully onboard with the Death Riders, teamed with Mox in a tag match against the long suffering and beleaguered Swirl of Blake Christian and Shotty Lee Johnson. Talk about ROH guys who never win. Actually, there was a fun bit of business where Marina Shafir gave the Swirl’s mentor, Jay Lethal, a suplex on the outside, which was great. The match was good; Blake Christian is REALLY good and should be more than just “talented put over guy.” The finish was sick; Mox hitting a Death Rider leading into a Hidden Blade from Ospreay. Cool stuff but I’m starting to get a bit impatient to see where the Ospreay / Death Riders stuff finally goes. Let’s get something happening here, guys.

Jay White cut a promo… which was great… I’ve missed the guy so much… but I didn’t need the Baja Men reference, y’know? Dude was out for over 400 days… wow. He called Ospreay a FRAUD, which was interesting. Jay has this ease on the mic that is nearly unmatched. If the crowd chants something dumb, he’ll call them on it. If he is milking people for cheers, he’s shameless about it. Seriously, his control over the crowd is on a completely different level than all but the most tippy topiest people in wrestling. Obviously he and his men will be feuding with the Dogs. After these midcard shenanigans are over… can we push this guy to the top of the promotion, please?

I don’t really have a ton to say about the Survival of the Fittest main event. I never really liked the match type in even my most staunch ROH DVD buying days and here… I genuinely think Hikaru Shida being the winner is kind of the least interesting option. Persephone would have been cool and elevating Queen Aminata would have been even better… but such was not to be. Three of the participants were eliminated the same way… via surprise roll up. I mean… that’s sort of a failing of match layout, isn’t it? I saw a lot of people MAD that others were MAD about Shida winning and screaming at each other about their fantasy booking not playing out and such and it’s like… I had very little skin in the game… I just think Shida and Kris Statlander were sort of the least interesting options, I dunno. Shida has a lot of old time AEW fan… I want to say goodwill or even possessiveness built about her. What I’m trying to say is that some people get really bent out of shape if anything bad is said about her and it’s like… she isn’t above criticism just because of TENURE, guys. I will say I have enjoyed her more since her return, but it’s not like her in-ring has vastly improved; it’s mostly down to her slightly snotty character who talks out of both sides of her mouth, assuming others can’t understand Japanese. It’s fine, I guess? Hurry back Willow Nightingale.

Onward to Collision, friends. Let’s set our phasers to “brevity.”

Show started off fairly hot with PAC ‘n’ Claudio Castagnoli versus still in the States SHINGO and… sigh… Drilla Maloney. Fueled by our mutual antipathy for most NJPW gaijin (I still won’t use the more gentle term “gaikokujin,” sorry), my wife screamed at the screen “PAC, don’t tag out to Claudio because that means Maloney will tag in.” That basically happened as soon as she mentioned it, so, disgusted, she got up to get herself dinner; truly a woman of action.

Ultimately, they had a strong match, but it really just made me want to see SHINGO vs. PAC and SHINGO vs. Claudio Castagnoli. And why did SHINGO hafta eat the pin? And not only the pin, but what was essentially a distraction roll up? In a better world, this might lead to SHINGO singles matches, but that’s not the world we live in. And don’t get me started on half of the Death Riders still needing to CHEAT. Don’t get it.

Not too be too terribly mean about the Andrade / Brian Cage match that followed, but the most interesting part appeared to be which man was more blown up from their respective over muscled physiques. Someone please tell the former La Sombra to QUIT DOING EDDY GUERERRO TRIBUTE SPOTS. If I had a goddamned MAGIC WAND, Eddy tribute spots ANYWHERE IN WRESTLING might well be banished to the SHADOW REALM. It reminds me of all Canadian wrestlers somehow unlocking the Sharpshooter because they picked “Canadian” on their character sheet. “You get 1D6 Bret Hart moves!”

Skyflight, by far the worst faction in AEW, got even lamer with the addition of Matt Sydal. Amazing. YAY IT’S THE WORST GUY FROM GENERATION NEXT. (I’m kidding, mostly; it’s just that Christopher Daniels’ crew seem much, much worse off for uniting under his tutelage. Scorpio Sky is on his fifth or sixth “refresh” in AEW and Top Flight, a team I thought could go all the way have been stalled out for roughly the last three years).

Poor Shane Taylor Promotions found themselves fighting the reunited Bang Bang Gang along with a… sigh… special guest. My joy at seeing Jay White return to the ring was instantly, INSTANTLY mitigated by a wrestler who puts me on EDGE. D’ya get it? My CLEVERNESS? Do you need me to connect the goddamn dots?

Look, you gotta work with me, here. I’m typing this during the sixteen minutes Edge’s entrance takes. I’m free associating.

Austin Gunn did something or other in the ring, causing Nigel McGuinness to shout “Textbook Austin Gunn!” A textbook featuring Austin Gunn may well be remedial in nature.

Jay looked good, looked like he hadn’t really missed a step. Babyface Jay still chafes somewhat; that’s not my favorite iteration of the Switchblade, certainly, but as I stated above, his crowd mastery is next level. Jay instantly sought out young Lee Moriarty to work with and I can hardly blame him; I’d do the same. Jay and… sigh… Edge teamed up to superplex the hulking Shane Taylor. Where is Gorilla Monsoon to ask if the ring was reinforced? The Infantry of Carly Bravo and Captain Shawn Dean won my undying loyalty by shitcanning Edge our of the ring; bless their sassy hearts. Jay picked up the win, but the Dogs and Death Riders attacked post match. That’s fine, but please, please get Edge out of there, out of that orbit. In fact, get JAY out of that orbit, too; he needs to be utilized way, way higher than merely treading water in the midcard.

Ricochet’s Demand took on some LOCAL TALENT including local TO ME wrestler SONICO. Sonico took an absolute TRUCKING from Toa Liona, and the match was essentially over by the time I finished typing this. Liona got a helluva cut above his eye, somehow. I assume it was Sonico’s fault! Lay still and let me shoulder block you into next week, fool.

Willow is on her way back, and getting back into ring shape by perusing the used records store. My kind of gal.

Is this show going long? Bandido y Mistico y, uh… Speedball Mike Bailey teamed to face the Rascalz. Please, PLEASE quit showing the gringo crowds failing to sing along to Me Muero. And this crowd had NON gringos in San Diego! Still awful. This was a fun car crash of a match; would have fit in just fine in Arena Mexico. They could have easily done another five or ten minutes, here. I love Mistico, someone I’ve watched for over twenty years be treated as this venerated grand old man of Lucha libre, and unlike, say an Atlantis or whomever, he’s still pretty dang great.

RUSH, El Toro Blanco, came out in black and red. WolfPac RUSH?! Whatever he said after giving some kid the HEEERRRRRNS, they largely bleeped. Ungovernable by name, ungovernable by nature.

Okay, we are definitely going past two hours.

Maya World faced Julia Hart. It is imperative that they keep up with Maya World’s momentum, here. The follow-up is going to be so important for her and AEW can’t always be trusted with a strong follow-up for recipients of the Cinderella story. Match was… fine, I guess. Julia, frankly, is a bit of a drag factor, so it’s a bit difficult to judge Maya’s work, here. I do think they should give the younger workers maybe more simple match layouts. I assume Maya will do well in the upcoming Casino Gauntlet next week, maybe even take the whole thing? They have something there with her… CAPITALIZE ON IT.

Then Kyle Fletcher faced El Phantasmo in the main event. I might say something controversial here, and it is controversial for me, personally… ELP might, MIGHT have looked a bit better than my beautiful pink boy, here. Phantasmo brings his working shoes when he comes to AEW, that’s for sure. After a DISGUSTING Michinoku Driver, Kyle HURLED ELP into the barricade on the floor, and that looked GREAT. A series of roll ups and a Gourdbuster nearly got ELP the victory, but after an aborted attempt at a backslide, Kyle threw ELP like a lawn dart into the turnbuckle and RUINED him with a brainbuster. Excellent main, and the show wrapped up with Don Callis cutting a promo on my best boy, Konosuke Takeshita before being forced to FLEE by the International Champ.

Collision was a little longer than I anticipated but I felt a little better about the oncoming Beach Break than I did on Wednesday night. Maybe I was high on the (un) Forbidden Door content? Just in a better mood? I dunno. I’m still not in love with the Kenny Omega stuff, but I assume he’s winning Wednesday, so whatever. I know some of this stuff is really hitting for some folks, but I also feel like we’re back at the “AEW can do no wrong” stage where SCOLDS get mad at you for wondering why matches are on Dynamite and not being promoted for the pay per view in 23 days. “All bangers, trust the process, TK never misses” and so on… I don’t know any of that is necessarily a good thing. I’d always rather keep a skeptical, wary eye on the goings on and be pleasantly surprised when my expectations are exceeded than simply just “trust the process.”

Love you all; proud of you. You’ll have whatever support from me you need (yes, we just got much, MUCH closer over the past few days. How you know?)