La Zona Muerta

An awful looking, tacked on CGI horror dropped into MY Transformers the Movie (1986)? A “secret” in a story “we know so well?”

I know I’m supposed to sink to my knees in fanboy supplication and say six “Hail Hasbros” while I hold my hand over a resin copy of the Matrix of Leadership, but for some reason, I can’t quite find it in my naturally occurring gears, levers, and pulleys to find any joy in this HORSESHIT PANDERING GARBAGE.

Quit trying to suck up to aging forty somethings, up to and including ME.

Discover a new chapter of sucking my entire ass, Hasbro.

I hope the ghost of Orson Welles haunts Chris Cocks’ bedroom and moans “green peas, green peas” over and over again.