No, I didn’t buy the pay per view, much to the chagrin of folks who hastened to tell me what a good show I missed, and much to the delight of those that told me “well, it was a show.” We did, to get a wrestling fix, get the Rev Pro / CMLL crossover shows, but I assure you neither of those were anything to write home about (or indeed to take up digital space about, here at YOUR favorite lukewarm takes blog). It sounds like WrestleDream was better than All Out, so there’s that, I guess, if my stamp of approval or disapproval means anything. I don’t really feel like I missed much, and we’ve talked plenty about the build and why it was lacking. At some point we have to get off of that and maybe more on to NEXT YEAR DON’T HAVE THREE PAY PER VIEW SHOWS WITHIN THE SPACE OF FORTY EIGHT DAYS. Yes, they had three shows you had to BUY if you were interested in a little over a month and a half. Not ideal.
It sounds like the Clockwork Whatnot Carnage had a mostly good to okay reception, maybe bordering on mixed, depending on where you look. If I had seen Konosuke Takeshita not even make it to the second stage, I would have been pissed, so it’s best that I missed it. It also sounds like it had the problems I generally have with most Iron Man matches writ large; suddenly finishers are deadly poison that can be spammed for definite pinfalls, and you’re multiplying that by five or six times. Maybe some refinement, some more specific thought about how the psychology of something like this would work and this can be a cool TV special match for something OTHER than the AEW Heavyweight title, I dunno. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
I also would have been borderline apoplectic if I had seen the nonsense with Tomasso Ciampa and Andrade el Idolo. Are you a “Psycho Killer” or a clown? PICK A LANE. I already don’t particularly care for either of those performers, and them doing shtick on PPV would have left a very sour taste in my mouth. Better left alone.
One thing that is of course intriguing and will play into Dynamite was the signing of one Ilja Dragunov.
I can’t tell you that I’m an expert in regards to Dragunov’s career. Oh, I’ve seen plenty of it, I watched some WXW back when that was relevant, certainly, some OTT, a bit of PROGRESS when that was the hot thing. I even watched NXT UK for awhile as the WWE kudzu crept into and all but killed the European scene. I parted ways with his career not much longer after that; we had largely given up on NXT by the time AEW started… so homeboy hasn’t existed for me since somewhere around 2020.
I would have hired him regardless, sight unseen and twice on Sunday.
While people are still debating if AEW should bring in the likes of Sheamus and such… Ilja left WWE. They wanted him to stay and he split… he felt he wasn’t being used to best effect. Not difficult to believe. They don’t like wrestlers in WWE. Dude is thirty two years old. I often lament WWE to AEW signings simply because so many of them can’t be the FUTURE of AEW, no matter how hard they work or seem to fit in or how many fake kissies they do to make you squee… a Ciampa, a Kofi, an Austin Creed, a Sheamus should the worst come to pass… those guys simply can’t be the future of AEW. They shouldn’t be. Their best days are behind them. Guys in their thirties NOW are the ones the should be positioned to be THE guys five years down the line and I would had driven over some of the aforementioned people to sign a hungry thirty two year old who felt like he had been held back, even if he had been in the Fed for ten years. Yes, that could be an issue that he’s been in the WWE system for a long time, sure… and I don’t think everyone can overcome that sort of… let’s say conditioning, but I suspect a couple of months in the deep AEW water should hopefully sort that out. It worked for Ricochet, after all, even if it took a few months. I’m excited to see Ilja do his thing, and he looked every bit a star at WrestleDream (yes, pendants, I watched the YouTube clip).
I’m willing to squint and ignore some of the issues from the last few weeks… we are coming up on Continental Classic time, and I’m hoping that will recharge my metaphorical batteries… but then there are another couple of problems on the horizon.
Blood and Guts is November 4th.
Any and all “build” for the next pay per view has to be shunted directly and immediately to that special event.
Starting October 21st.
Compounding that problem… Kenny Omega, Will Ospreay, Jon Moxley, Gabe Kidd, and Wheeler Yuta will all be in Japan the day prior to Blood and Guts. Teleportation does not yet exist. That basically rules out the Death Riders (yes, Claudio Castagnoli and the remaining Riders could potentially team with… someone, perhaps the odious Dogs, I suppose but who would care) and United Empire West (again, Speedball Mike Bailey and Andrade could team with, I dunno, the Conglomeration or something, but the leader is gone). The Don Callis Family will probably serve as the bad guys, just due to NUMERICAL VOLUME, but… this is the EXACT issue with announcing the stip BEFORE having an issue to go with it. Pointless and manages to AEW seem… lesser. Let’s not do stuff just to do it, huh?
Problem the second?
It’s pretty fucking obvious who the next Heavyweight challenger is gonna be, unless there’s some Canadian show I forgot about that AEW would want to hold off until. And that means there’s a very good chance that I’ll be skipping THAT show, too, when that match is announced.
EDGE DOES NOT NEED A TITLE SHOT (he already had a chance, if you’ll recall and he gargled that chance’s BALLS), and he DAMN SURE DOESN’T NEED A GOLD WATCH TITLE RUN. I will go so far as to say that, if that were to happen, I would simply stop watching AEW until that unfortunate title situation was resolved. I don’t want to hear about how he “dropped falls” during the Iron Man match thing. Fake jobs don’t mean a thing. I’m sure Ospreay loves the guy and is honored to work with him and etcetera, but… yuck. I’m worried that Ospreay will be like “I’ll lay down for you, bruv!” with his normal puppy dog enthusiasm. This ain’t what I want to watch AEW for and I hope it’s not what moves you, either. They’re already priming the pump for it with Edge and Ospreay teaming tonight… not looking forward to that.
Presented without comment but thank you, kindred spirit who made this
Whoa, right off of the bat, it’s the Young Bucks against the hoss team of Mark Davis and Jake Doyle. I’m down. It’s an Eliminator match, which never gets explained with super clarity, but should D&D win, they get a title shot down the line.
The Bucks are hurt from the match with Kevin Knight and Kyle Fletcher. But they are cleared. So are they okay or not? I’m not sure that sort of thing adds much to a match but confusion. If they are cleared, then it shouldn’t matter if they are banged up. Not a big thing, just something that sorta irks me when presented incorrectly and I’m not sure AEW does a good job of getting that right every time. We are getting a litany of big man / little man spots right away and Matt Jackson has a TON of Rock Tape all over his neck and shoulders. Nick is immediately put through the ringside doctor’s / timekeeper’s table. Close Your Eyes (and count to Fuck) THREE times on Matt! Doyle and Davis win… DECISIVELY, and that means they get a title shot! Excellent bit of business there; the Bucks got ZERO offense, not a BIT. I guess they shouldn’t have been cleared! Absolutely incredible; you never have to doubt that they know what to do for business.
The Bucks match ended early due to their utter destruction, so it’s already time for the aforementioned Edge and Ospreay versus Knight and Fletcher deal. Crowd is coming UNGLUED for Ospreay and Fletcher, as well they should. THIS is where we need to be going, AEW. That better be the long term plan; this could feasibly be the All In main event next year.
Oh, our first Blood and Guts mention of the night and yet no idea of what will BE in it. Good Gotch above.
We were laughing on a forum I belong to earlier that Edge would likely take the whole match, mount his own comeback and eventually make the hot tag to Ospreay for the scraps, but that didn’t really happen. Ospreay was the partner in peril for much of the match, for better or worse. Likely better. Edge’s hot tag was fairly tepid, in ring-wise but the crowd still loves the guy. For “not getting along,” Kyle and Kevin have gelled fairly well, and have figured out some good tandem offense. Ugh, the “Edge searching for the hot tag” part has begun… and here’s Kazuchika Okada to taunt Edge. Great, Okada dropping a fall to Edge fills me with similar dread to an Ospreay program… but maybe this is the last minute rail track diversion we need…? Edge attempts the spear on Kyle, but Kyle uses RAW ATHLETICISM to leap over Edge (!), and Edge runs right into Okada’s International title. Bonk. Oops! Brainbuster by Kyle for the win, and the Don Callis Family are triumphant. Ah, maybe THIS is Blood and Guts? Edge and some jerks against the DCF?
Looks like my instincts were somewhat on beam; here’s Darby Allin… and Hijo del Sting! Yep, Bee and / or Gee.
Uh oh, Swerve Strickland versus LOCAL TALENT. COP KILLA!!! 1,2,3! Swerve out! PEACE. We are HOWLING.
For some reason, Orange Cassidy is not with his Conglomates but rather… Jay White? Okay. Oh, it’s something to do with the Tailgate Brawl (don’t tell the REAL sickos, but I skipped that, too). PLEASE get Jay out of this Dogs-related DEATH SPIRAL. One wonders how “hurt” Jay actually was. Ah, it’s Wheeler YUTA and Danny Garcia. This should be good. Jay obviously likes being a little silly with OC; not a knock, just an observation. They go to break with the dark horses of the Death Riders on top. This match is pretty good, fam. Death Rider boyz isolate Jay White-o as much as possible. Garcia manages to piss OC off (!) and Orange delivers a big kick! Orange Punch misses… Jay gets the momentum back and another Orange Punch… into a Bladerunner! Jay, turn! Turn! Good stuff, despite no turn. I want Jay to revert to type and go back to being the evil mastermind, though. I hope they aren’t going to be gunshy with White. He’s main event material, not the mid card jerk they’ve used him as for the last three years.
Prince Nana and Swerve call out Hangman Adam Page, Brody King and Bandido. Full Gear? Full Gear. Whoa, TEXAS DEATH challenge? Hangman refuses. Swerve is gonna do something awful to get him to agree. I reckon Bandido better watch his back as Swerve will likely do something gruesome to him to get the stip. Keep that neck… uh… loose, Bandido. SUPPLE.
Nick Wayne has arrived via limousine. What is this, Monday Night Nitro? He has a “Nick Wayne beat Chris Jericho” shirt, sort of in the Nitro logo style! Okay.
Mercedes Moné in the absolute weakest part of her game, an in ring promo. At least she banished Renee Paquette. Just do pre tapes, Mercedes. Is Kairi Hojo coming out? Whoa, it’s Marina Shafir! MARINA, I BEG OF YOU. “Don’t be a PUSSY,” said Shafir. I love that Marina dominated on the mic simply by being intimidating and a bit crude. Why do they insist on going live with Mercedes and her Fed cue cards? Here comes Roddy Strong… is he here to feed Mercedes to Marina? Guess not, he’s fighting Mox. Just join the Death Riders or whatever, Roddy.
Such was the force of Roddy’s one chop that Mox had to roll out. The announcers put over Mox’ inner turmoil. Okay, so is Moxley the virtuous AEW locker room leader or os he the evil scourge leader of the Death Riders? I’m not certain the two things can be reconciled. I’m sure people will treat this as some triumph of storytelling but so much of it is head canon; it’s not actually explained. End of Heartache! Sick Ki- no! Mox cuts off Roddy with a lariat. Cutter! Roddy slapped his thigh SO HARD on a sliding kick that he left a handprint on his own flesh. Sleeper… and that’s it. So is Mox’ inner turmoil or GI tract trouble or whatever resolved?
The Dogs came out and attacked Roddy, and Moxley warned them off… but the Dogs turned on him… and apparently on dumb Gabe Kidd, too? Huh. Conglomos and Jay White chased the Dogs off… and Jay turned on OC! YES! The Bang Bang Gang are bad guys again! Bullet Club for for for for life…? Claudio Castagnoli is here to regulate, BUT THE NUMBERS ARE TOO GREAT, EXCALIBUR. I typed that before Tony Schiavone said it. ASK MY WIFE, SHE WILL VERIFY. Is that good or bad? Answers on a postcard. They laid out Claudio and THIS IS TAKING FOR GODDAMN EVER. Still, it’s a welcome change.
Look, I hate Bullet Club, but the Bang Bang Gang sucks and the Dogs SUPER SUCK. JUST BE BULLET CLUB. Be a threat and not midcard comedy doofuses feuding over DOG ADOPTION. I’d shake hands with the Devil AND Gedo if it meant main event Jay White being a thing.
Renee is screaming in the back and various women are doing various things. Blood and Guts Two, I suspect but I don’t know as my brain shut off.
Justin Roberts told the crowd they were required to stand up and cheer… and they did? Huh. I mean, I ALWAYS do what the heel tells me to do! Here comes Nick Wayne. They are doing the awful gray pallor lighting again. Nick gets pyro every time he mentions beating Chris Jericho. Is that character development? I couldn’t tell you. Don’t bring out Jericho, please. Shout out to CZW hat, Mick Foley flannel wearing man, Jericho’s target audience. This sucks just as bad as the last segment they did, if not worse. Say you’re sorry, Chris, and get this over with. OH GOD, THIS IS DEATH. The crowd is sorta on Nick’s side, at least. It’s not 100% Jericho, anyway. “I wouldn’t have APOLGED to anyone at your age.” Yes, he said APOLGED. Too long in Florida? Jericho is blithering about the greats that taught him or whatever, including PITBULL #2. Yes, an all tine great; just don’t look up how that garbage human died. Tells you a lot about who Jericho holds in high regard. What, no BENOIT put over? Nick will be great if he continues to LISTEN. I wish I didn’t have to listen. Jericho says something that gets bleeped, maybe something along the lines of “don’t fuck it up.” The (merciful) end.
Hopefully this is the start of the rise of Queen Aminata as she takes on Maya World for a shot at Persephone and her TBS title. Chocolate Kisses is AWFUL. This can NOT be the move of a serious competitor. Aminata wins. Maya World can be good, I know she can; she just needs the ring time. Aminata is better than good NOW and they should pull the trigger with her.
Heels riding HIGH tonight. DCF are gloating in the back. DCF have the guts, good guys need to bring the BLOOD. GET THAT MONEY. Boy, Blood and Guts came together quick, huh?
C’mon, make with ILJA.
Samoa Joe choked out Will OsPREE. Jungle Jack Perry takes exception to that, I guess? Okay. If he keeps spamming matches with Joe, maybe the law of averages will be kind.
There are people in the crowd wearing NEW WORLD ORDER shirts in the year of our lord Two Thousand and Twenty Six.
UNBESIEGBAR. Ilja Dragunov is HERE and looking to conduct VIOLENCE. He’s yoked, but has a terrible chest / neck tattoo, so that’s something, I guess. You win and lose. This is serious grappling, no fucking around. Speedball Mike Bailey is going to lose, but it’s not a squash; Speedy is getting in plenty of offense. I probably would have went with a violent squash against local talent but we already had one of those and they want you to see Ilja’s range. Absolutely DISGUSTING German suplex by Dragunov. They fight on the outside, and ANOTHER FETID, GROSS suplex on the floor. Woof. I know I’ve never been the biggest Speedball fan, but he probably volunteered for this to put Ilja over in this manner and Speedball, regardless of how I feel about him, his mullet and his gross, bare feet, is a great guy to have a match like this with. Leaping enziguri from Ilja! Succession of German suplexes. Tiger suplex! Absolutely SMASHED Speedy’s shit in with a senton. OOFDA! Speedy hits the Shooty Boy knees. Again, this is no squash, but that’s okay. Speedball can’t climb for Ultima Weapon. BIG superplex. Up kick from Speedy! Speedy came VERY close to winning (perhaps too close) with a straightjacket type sit out pin. Ilja Hulks up and… eats a kick to the face? Ultima Weapon? Nope, a lariat to the LEG sends Speedy down. Powerbomb! DIVING ELBOW TO THE GODDAMN FACE! That’s a PRIDE finish (PRIDE never die)! Mrs Convoy complained that Speedy got too much and I see her point, but I liked the match and loved the finish.
So yeah, very heelish show… but that makes sense coming off of a pay per view. They did what I said they needed to do, they IMMEDIATELY set up Bee and Gee, but now we’re gonna get smashed over the head with it to make up for the LACK of promotion. I beg, next year, let the match be organically announced by talent with an issue BEFORE tickets go on sale! Don’t just do this to do it! Have a reason! Don’t be the other guys, locked into Elimination Chamber and Money in the Banl* and the rest by the calendar and not NEED.
I REALLY hope Bullet Club is, well… Bullet Club, but only if it’s a vehicle for getting Jay White to the top. I hope we mitigate the Edge stuff a bit. I hope Nick Wayne actually gets something out of this Jericho stuff. I hope Queen Aminata can leave the hyper sexualized nonsense move behind. Not too shabby for one Dynamite, I suppose.
*Yes, BANL. And shout out to the handful who get it
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